Rejection & hurt.

Rejection hurts. I've had people turn me down left and right throughout my life, and it stings down to the core.

People play with my heart, and it hurts.

People have hurt me with their words, are unforgiving and cold, and it hurts.

This week, I've been rejected. This week, I've been accepted. It's a marvelous, wonderful pattern.

Why do I give second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chances? Because Jesus would.
Why do people give me second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chances? Well, the ones that do, are living a life of Christ. They know they should give me another chance to redo the wrong I committed, because Jesus would.


It's amazing how we can analyze things in life, and think wow I'm living a life like Christ. I understand, in a sense (not as intense, but have a grasp of) how Christ lived. One day, people will accept Him and love Him. The next day, they ignore Him, and reject Him by hanging Him on the Cross.


It's so cool how He did that. Can you think of one thing you had to suffer in your life? A parent or close relative dying? A boyfriend you were in love with cheating on you? Imagine suffering that pain, guilt and shame. He did that for us. In these times, many of us are guilty of cursing at God, shaking our fists, and asking "Why did you do this to me?" He gives us a few hours, days, weeks, and hangs around, waiting for you to apologize, and He gives you that second chance. For some of us, it's that 400th chance. It's interesting how we never really think...can God ever stop giving us second chances? No! Because He is a GOD OF LOVE.


And that's why I love my life.

Where has our childhood gone?

I just have to reminisce about how amazing my childhood was. I wasn't much of an outdoorsy girl. If I was outside, it was because Barbie and her friends wanted to go on a camping trip or something in their RV. I read ACTUAL books. I watched Disney Channel. I listened to Radio Disney

I haven't touched a Barbie doll in years. I don't even know what exactly happened to them. I'm sure my Mom took them to the garbage can and they are wasting away in a dump somewhere in bits and pieces. How sad is that? They helped me create my own fantasies in my head. Barbie had an amazing life. She had a handsome man named Ken that I could make kiss her anytime I wanted (sorry if that sounds sketchy, but girls, I know I'm not alone in this). She had a great dream house. She had gorgeous clothes. She had accessories that our animals snatched and choked on once in a while. She had the lifestyle most girls wanted.

Remember when we actually sat down and read books, or our parents read them to us? Silly question, but I ask this because I was watching a commercial the other day that said "Once there were books, now there's V-Tech!" What V-Tech is (as far as I can understand) is a book with an electronic pen. The kid can scroll across the words and the pen will say what the word is. Hooray! Parents don't have to teach kids how to read anymore! Let the toys of our society take care of this once bonding experience! My Mom constantly reminds me of the first time I read a book to her. It was "The Cat in the Hat Comes Back." Christmas of 1992 -- I was 4 years old. I came into her room and started reading it to her. She tells me how much they had me read TO the 1st grade class at my old school because I was "more advanced" than the other kids. I was "gifted"...and it's because MY MOM and I had that bonding experience where SHE taught me how to say those words. I am not saying that V-Tech is incapable of making our kids "gifted" but I can go back and say "wow, thanks Mom for teaching me how to read!" rather than thanking a technological fad that runs on batteries.

Remember Lizzie McGuire? Even Stevens? Shia LaBeouf made it HUGE, and he got his start on the Disney Channel show "Even Stevens." Not many know that. Hilary Duff is trying to make a comeback here and there, and she got her start on "Lizzie McGuire." These are names most of us are familiar with. Watching Disney Channel NOW you start to ask "who are these blond girls and why do they all look and act the same?"

There's a new DIsney Channel movie coming out, and they listed off who's starring in the movie. I blurted out after it "I don't have any idea who these people are!" It was exciting to see Shia LaBeouf and Hilary Duff "star" in new movies when we were in our junior high years. Now the new generation is looking up to these celebrities as idols, and those of us graduating college soon are scratching our heads asking "who are these people?"

I admit, now and then I turn on Radio Disney in my car JUST because I'm interested to know what kind of music they have our kids listen to. All it is is Selena Gomez...Demi Lovato...Jonas Brothers...and then people that sound exactly like them. Remember when A*Teens, Dream Street, N*SYNC, Backstreet Boys, and Britney Spears were competing for the top spot on the Radio Disney countdown? Don't tell me you didn't listen to that every now and then -- I know I'm not the only one. It's just sad how ever since Hilary Duff, an actress, started singing...everyone else on Disney Channel thinks they can sing as well. Moral of the story is...if you wanna start acting on Disney Channel, you HAVE to sing as a requirement.

I'm gonna be graduating college next December, and it's just saddening to think of how simple life was as a child, how much harder it got with school, friendships, hormones, etc...then you go to college, have a good time, then BAM out in the real world. You are an ADULT. Waking up on Saturday mornings to watch cartoons is no longer possible, because you'll be working early in the morning until late at night. Playing with Barbies is no longer possible because all the good ones got thrown away. Teaching your kids how to read becomes less of a priority, so you leave it up to electronic equipment to do it.

All we can do now is pray. PRAY for the generations of tomorrow. PRAY for our children to grow up in a loving, bonding time like most of us did inside our homes when we were younger. Don't huddle around the TV forcing children to watch Dora. Get them outside.

Or at least read books to them.

Ghosts and Christianity

It's that time of year. All the Halloween hoopla and scary ghost investigations on T.V.

I can never seem to get a clear answer on this: as Christians, are we allowed to believe in ghosts? Where is the proof that they do exist? Where is the proof that they don't?

Lately, I've been watching a show called "Ghost Adventures" where a group of guys go into a haunted place and investigate. I have been hooked on watching these kinds of shows for quite a few years now, and sometimes I wish I was in their shoes so I could get a sense of what they're experiencing. I personally have not had an encounter with a ghost, but so many have. At least, that's what television shows want you to believe. How do we know when those noises on the shows are real? The thing that usually gets me is when there is more than one person being a witness to the encounter. What if, my brothers and sisters, ghosts are real? Not all ghosts have to be evil. Not all ghosts have to be good. As Christians we can experience evil spirits and demons from Satan. Is there even such thing as a GOOD spirit? That's where the question of ghosts on the earth come in.

There is no way to be 100% sure of what happens when we die until we actually die. Hope that was obvious enough for you.

I'm clueless as to what's considered right when it comes to being a Christian and having slight interest in ghosts.

I'd be interested in hearing your thoughts.

What about Europe?

When we think of mission work, we often think we need to go to a different country in order for it to "count." We often think we need to go to a poor country in Africa. Many of us have callings in these areas, but what about those called to something more north of the equator? What about Europe?

Since I have gone to Europe back in May, I've been craving to be back. About a month ago, I was contemplating being a missionary. Everything seemed to add up. Now that I have received my choir CD and listen to the songs we sang about a hundred times last year, I have never wanted to be back in Estonia, Latvia and Finland as much as I do now.

I remember Mr. Sawyer telling us that religion is not a major part of the European people -- the majority of them are either Atheist or Russian Orthodox. Christianity, where are you? Not very existent, apparently.

God has a reason for everything. Going to Europe as a ministry major, many months later contemplating taking my ministry major into missions work. Europe, we may be meeting again...soon.

"Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation."
-Mark 16:15